When London was awarded the Olympics back in 2005, excitement spread across the nation, partly because we were to see in our capital city the greatest sporting event in the world, a celebration of multiculturalism and human achievement, but mostly because Paris did not get to host this event. We then watched on in awe at the 2008 Olympics in Bejing, as the world came together to forget China's appalling human rights record and give them a hearty pat on the back for still being the go-to guys for a cracking fireworks display. "Shit!" We said, "How are we going to top that?" And some bright spark this year answered that question by giving Danny Boyle a ring and telling him to fill the stadium with livestock.
But wait, what else happened in 2008? Oh yeah, that thing when all the money pissed off. Well it's 2012 and it hasn't shown up again yet, at this point Britain's big moral argument comes into play. The question of how we can justify such a great spend of around £24bn in these times of austerity when schools and hospitals are having their funding cut. We've heard the argument that the Games will generate income through tourism but it's difficult to see how this is going to cover the costs, after all, we'll have to sell 1,847,575,058 "I LOVE LONDON" t-shirts at £12.99 a pop. But then fun Britain says "hey man, you've changed you used to be cool, now it's all about the money" and it's true, the only way we can justify the expense is if we just don't think about it and attempt to enjoy the games, and let's face it, we've had a crap couple of years we owe it to ourselves to ignore the weather, take to the streets with bunting and put on a brave face.
But really, all it ever comes down to is how easily we can nip to Tesco (other supermarkets are available) at any given time, so when we heard about the Games Lanes, we hit the ceiling. At first we shouted without really knowing what the lanes would entail "ooooooh, I see how it is" we said "It's one rule for them and one rule for us, and just because I'm not a Canadian Beach Volleyball enthusiast I can't even get round my own city. Then we apologised for getting slightly out of hand and accepted it would be mostly athletes using the lanes. Even so, the disruption we've had on the roads is obvious already, and I can't imagine many commuters enjoying the tube for the next couple of months, but to fair they rarely do anyway the miserable bunch that they are.
So breath Britain, it is going to be a hectic couple of months but Keep Calm, Carry On. Put your moral judgments aside, accept the opening ceremony might be a let down, try to have fun, do your shopping online and accept that the M40 is indeed going to be a nightmare.
